A shoplifter of a local Walmart in Las Vegas, Nevada experienced exploding biscuits in his anus this week.

Klein, 41 and local resident of Las Vegas, Nevada, and his partner, Jerry Weis, took several cans of Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls into the Walmart bathroom. Customers witnessed this, and after hearing moans and noticing the strange behavior of the men (they were in the bathroom for nearly 20 minutes), security was sent in to investigate.

When Klein came out of the bathroom, the guard asked to see the groceries initially taken into the bathroom. Klein refused to show anything to the guard, but instead began to walk away. The security guard followed in pursuit of Klein. When the guard reached out to grab hold of Klein, Weis came up with the brilliant plan to squirt KY Jelly into the guard’s eyes to distract him. It sort of worked…

The guard, now disoriented, bumped into Klein and the two fell to the ground. That’s when you heard the loud ‘pop,’ Klein’s scream, of pain or pleasure we don’t know, and noticed the fluid running from Klein’s backside.

The EMT first to respond to the scene assessed, the can of dough ruptured due to the pressure applied by Klein’s anal muscles. Apparently, Klein’s never gotten the memo: “No clenching, please.”

After the dough, can, and remaining remnants were removed from Klein, he and his partner were handed over to officials. BUTT, if you’re looking for entertainment to this story, I’ll leave you with a direct quote from Mr. Weis when asked for a statement by the authorities:

“I hope my Mr. Martini will be okay. We just wanted to spice up the love making tonight with something sweet and thought that some Cinnamon Rolls would do the trick. Well at least my darling got the ‘Cinnabuns’ he wanted. I hope he has some leftovers for me to try.”

Klein and Weis are both being held on bond of $3,000.

This story comes to you secondhand, from the original found on: